Too Pale?

*edit: the last image I used was kinda depressing. So, here's a pic of me attacking my friend. :)


I've only in the recent years have embraced my 'paleness', even though I get comments like "get a tan!" or "you need some color, hun" regularly. Now, naturally I've always been pale. Not in a sickly looking way, but I am just pale in general. My relative yesterday stated "your skin is so white...like snow...". Although she said white skin is prettier than tanned, damaged skin, it's too bad not everyone looks at it that way in today's society.

Normally, I have no problem defending my natural complextion, but sometimes, I, too, get lured into products that help give you a "natural tan" without the harmful effects of the sun. Sounds good enough for me, I suppose (I've been praising SPF since I really got into skincare, back almost 9 years ago). I used to have really blotchy skin, due to not wearing sunscreen ever, prior to turning 14. But that has cleared up thanks to using SPF and other things. So, these items, most commonly bronzers, usually look so unatural on me, since I am so fair, and it just looks like either: A. I chose the wrong foundation shade or B. I forgot to add SPF on certain parts of my face. Nicely put, they look hideous on me, and very UNnatural.

So, this is what happened to me today. I got lured at the local Guerlain counter today. The lady stopped me, and insisted I try one of their new bronzers. And before I could even answer to that, she grabbed her big fluffy (and scratchy) brush, dipped it into the sample, and attached my face and neck with it (ok, that's putting it a bit too harsh, but you get the idea!). I've also known this saleswoman for years, and so, I trusted her (i think?).

Anyways, she tried it on, I looked into the mirror, and I had a little color on my skin. Didn't look too bad. My mom even tried it on. The packaging, I must say, was pretty nice. I do admit I am easily fooled by fancy packagings (even thought I am a Graphic Designer, and should know better!).

77 dollars later, I am now in my car. As I examined my face in natural sunlight, I was in shock to see it turn orange. Here I am, heading to the airport, looking like I had nothing better to do on a sunday morning than to play around with my makeup. I then quickly try to blend it out.

I get home later on, trying to take a nap, and feel bad. I can't sleep. What a dumb thing to have done! Here I am, proclaming that I "love my pale skin", and I go and buy a over-priced bronzer, it looks bad on me, and I know that I won't be using it. And did I mention it cost a shitload?! What was I thinking...(ah, I guess this is what happens when you skip breakfast, people...)

Why do we do these things to ourselves? These contradictions? Is it a spur of the moment thing? Or do we all want to change something inside of ourselves?

For now, I have decided, who cares with what others think about my complextion. I'm not going to try to hide what I am on the outside. I've come to realize that, most people who are insecure with their looks tend to make remarks concerning my looks. And I do realize that, but I never take it to heart. I think that, regardless of what you look like, as long as you're happy with yourself, INSIDE AND OUT, who cares what others around you think. You might not like an aspect of yourself, but someone else will find that trait beautiful. You just never know. All that matters is that you are happy, first and foremost, with yourself, because no product will help you do that.

As for the bronzer, it is going back to the department store tomorrow :)

xoxo

P.S: Here is what it looks like. Nice packaging though eh? ;)